This is not a letter for a crush, it is a letter for my 14 year old son. 

My son is so full of life, of happiness, and of good teaching. Good parenting, if you will. I have done all in my power to assure he is a good kid. I raised him with manners, with knowledge on how to treat a person. He knows how to treat his sister and his mother, but he does not know how to treat any other girl. And I know this boy, and there will no doubt be more girls to come his way. And this is a mom's letter for her son.

Let me start by saying this. A man's job is very big. Not bigger than a woman's, but big... important. You need to charm your way into a girl's heart. She will try to convince herself every day that she doesn't want you, or what you have to offer, that she doesn't need to lose her heart to you. So it's your job to make sure that you obliviate all those thoughts from her head. Remind her that losing your heart to somebody does not mean losing yourself to somebody else. A girl will analyze every last word you say to her. She will disect it into a million pieces. Whether it's "see you later" or "wow, you look really beautiful today." So be careful what you say to her. 

This next thing may seem to insignificant to include in these life lessons, but trust me, it is very significant. Number the times you say goodbye to her. 'Goodbye' is the single most painful word to hear. Sometimes it's more painful that 'hate,' because if someone 'hates' you... you should at least have an idea why, or they should have a reason. But goodbyes should be a very rare thing. They should not be acknowledged after every conversation. If you are talking to a girl who may have interest in you, or you may in her, do not say goodbye. End the conversation with a simple 'talk to you tomorrow' or 'love ya' or anything... anything but goodbye. When dad left, I'm sure you were shown a clean example of what a simple 'goodbye' can do to somebody. 

Pay attention to your hormones. Your hormones are going to tell you how many girls are in your life. Whether it's one girl ever-present in your thoughts, or many, many hot, bodacious girls. If that is the case {the hot, bodacious girls} please do not let your thoughts wonder. Keep your mind pure in that sense. Do not be tempted into easy girls. Go for the apples at the top of the tree. Do not be fooled.

Details are grand gestures. The little things you do, the things you may think pointless, will make a girl's day. But be careful in doing these things. Do not throw out compliments like pennies in a fountain. Do not treat every girl the same. Treat your girl friends as your friends. Treat your girlfriends as something more. Tell them they are beautiful. Give them notes. Give them hints. Touch their hands. Hug them. Play with their hair. Make sure they notice. Do not let a girl pass by without noticing. Be the chivalry every girl thinks has died. Be different. Make somebody else smile. There is nothing more attractive than a guy who can care as someone else just as he cares for himself.

You have such potential. Such a genuine heart that I am so proud of. I've read the letters these girls write on this website, and I just wish each of them had a chance to be charmed by you. Any girl will be lucky to call you theirs. I want you to make sure you do not damage people.

You will soon be entering high school, and damage to hearts is the worst thing anyone can feel. Especially girls, with their incredibly sensitive nature, can be wounded. Do not backstab. Do not lie. Do not treat a girl like she is unimportant. By woman you were brought into this world, thank every one like they were that woman. There is not a lot of complication to pleasing a woman. But breaking her heart is the biggest offense. As your mother, I might actually personally punish you if you break someone's heart. 

Do not leave anybody who you care about in the dark. Seize every opportunity to love somebody, or to tell them you love them. Do not leave a girl wondering. Do not lead her on.

This whole time I have had one single girl on the mind. There is a girl who is the subject of this letter. Every 'her' and every 'she' has been a certain girl we both know. Do not ask me who, and I will not tell. We both know who it is. I've seen the way you look at her. I see the confusion you struggle with. You don't know how to approach her. You don't know how to treat her. She is not your sister. Please, make her feel speacial. I know you love her. Now keep her with you, do not let her slip away. Because soon enough she will be your life. Do what you can to make her yours, because I've seen the way she looks at you, too.

So be careful, Jude,

Mom