I have cancer. I'm going to die. It's all set out for me now. There aren't any "keep fighting" 's to be said. There aren't any "stay alive so I can see you next year" 's left. It's already going to happen and this cancer is much to far along.
Though, Sam, I wish I could have told you. I know I left without leaving, but I was very sick and had to fly out to the larger hospital. For some reason they thought if I had more medical attention I'd be in less pain. What they don't realize is the most pain I'm in is from leaving you. I'm not talking about flying across the country, no, I'm talking about leaving the earth away from you.
Though this time would come sooner or later right? I can only write this from my hotel out here tonight in hopes that maybe in the morning I won't wake up and I won't have to be without you physically for another day.
Maybe I'll see you again though. Besides I still have some months to live right? I miss you very much and you were wrong when you said I'd be an angel on earth because you're already that.
I'll be in your sunshine for as long as your alive and I'll be in the grass around you as you lay and look up at the sky and wonder if I went to heaven.
Heaven really was a place on earth with you. I love you.