we had so much fun when we first met. all it was was our last summer at home, and we would see each other every day long into the night, and you didn't even kiss me until you were drunk because you were so nervous. we were under the stars and you took my face in your hands and asked my permission. you kept making sure it was okay that you kissed me in case the first time was a fluke. but then we went away to different schools, and you decided we should break up just in case it got too hard later. that day was awful. it just went from bad to worse. and i went to school and didn't have any friends and then you called me one night and told me you didn't care how far away from each other we were because you just wanted to be with me no matter what. so we did the long-distance thing and you worried about me from afar but we visited each other often and it was still nice. but you started getting angry and you started drinking too much and even when we came back home for the summer you were always angry. and when i went away to school again you told me you didn't think you could handle it another year. i begged you to try, and you came to visit and got drunk and angry and we fought and i cried and it happened again the weekend after and i don't know why it got so hard. i can't tell you because you're so angry, you get angry because i'm upset. you get mad at me for crying because you say it makes me look weak. i was sick all week and you were mad at me for being sick and you yelled at me for not drinking enough water and then i went to sleep and you woke me up and yelled at me for wanting to go back to sleep. i don't know why you're so angry. i would do anything for you, all you have to do is ask. i don't know why you're so mad. i don't think i did anything wrong but when you look at me sometimes i feel like everything is wrong. i'm too afraid to let go of you. you are a hurricane: if i let you go, you would destroy things. it would make you more angry, and me more sad.